Appearances are everything

（I wrote this a while ago and promptly forgot about it...）

The previous post on presentations left me wondering about appearances. After the meeting, I asked Poodle how I did with the presentation, since the last time I ever present anything in front of a group of scientists was.......I can't remember exactly, but it must be a year ago.
That's a long time to go without practice, and I normally get really nervous, like any other person.
I also know that I stutter, say "um" a few more times, generally talk too fast, get really sweaty armpits, talk with a stronger accent (I feel like my American twang becomes stronger), and lose words in my head whilst thinking (hence I stutter and say "um" a lot more, and there are silences in between).

The thing is, more often than not, people say I did fine. I never figured out whether that was because, considering all matters I am actually a good presenter, or becauase I was talking to friends and they were trying not to make me feel bad. I guess I should do a course on presentations, but I think I don't do that bad a job. Sure, I fidget, sure, I lose words. But I don't think I am half as bad as some people.
I am told that I look calm and collected, confident with what I say. My nervousness doesn't seem to translate to action. I am always amazed at what they say, and sometimes I do wonder whether what I think I look like, and how I am actually perceived is greatly different.

I do spend a lot of time preparing though. Thinking about the audience, how to present, what level to pitch it at, etc.. I enjoy doing the planning, and as more time passes, I am getting more comfortable with the actual presenting. There is no joy greater than having an audience understand what you are presenting. And falling asleep...